Let’s go back for just a second to the beginning of the unexpected bomb that was just dropped into your lap. Does this sound familiar? You sat down at the computer just to check your email. However, after you finished, you started surfing the net. Then, it just happened, your computer was unsuccessful in stopping a porn popup, or you clicked on a link that appeared to be family friendly and instead took you to a porn page.

Or, another common scenario, you’re looking through you tube for some interesting videos and after a blink of eye you’re caught watching porn. The next thing you know you’ve already masturbated. Then, you ask yourself, did that just happen and is that Christian sexual addiction?

It is my purpose to help others break free from this type of bondage. Please let me bless you with my podcast.

You messed up, so how do you make things right?

Our wonderful counselor, Jesus, brings us the answer. I’ll paraphrase and modernize a story that our Counselor tells us about two men that you might find encouraging. Click here to read the original story. The first man was an esteemed elder at the local church. He was a good man and did a lot of great things; his name was Elder Good.

The second man was a shady collections agent, who had done quite a few devious deals to get as much profit from his clients as possible. His name was Agent Bad. As the story goes Elder Good and Agent Bad both drove to the church to pray. There were a couple of people inside, so Elder Good went in and offered up a prayer to God. He told God about all the great things that he had been doing, such as, fasting and tithing his income. He also thanked God that he wasn’t like other people in the world, some of which were unjust, adulators, extortionists, or even like Agent Bad whom he saw driving to the church to pray.

Now, Agent Bad knew he wanted to pray to God. He felt terrible about the shady things he had done. In fact, one of the latest things he’d done that made him feel terrible was looking up porn on the Internet and masturbating. Agent Bad knew he couldn’t justify all the things he had done wrong; he didn’t have a bag full of exceptional things like Elder Good had. Agent Bad felt too ashamed to go into the church so instead put his head down on his steering wheel and started to cry. He thought about all of his family and friends who counted on him as a role model and the trust that he had broken with them.

His crying soon turned into sobbing, and he hit himself on the chest because he felt miserable. All he could get out between sobs was, “God have mercy on me, because I’m a sinner.” Agent Bad didn’t have a whole lot more to say than that; it was all he could get out. The two men then went home, but the curious thing was that Elder Good didn’t feel any different after praying.

On the other hand, Agent Bad felt terrific. It was like he had a new energy and enthusiasm about him, like the day he had graduated from collections school. Agent Bad felt like the world was a jug and he had the cork. The best word that he could use to describe what happened to him after praying on his steering wheel was that he felt justified.

Agent Bad was even considering changing his last name:)

It’s not what you say, but how you say it.

Have you ever heard this growing up? Maybe you’ve even said it to your own children. If you did hear it growing up, it was probably in a situation where you had done something wrong and needed to apologize. The only problem was that you didn’t feel sorry, so instead you just said the words, “I’m sorry”. Then an adult would say “you need to say it like you mean it”.

I believe this is what the story above is trying to teach us about Christian sexual addiction. There are times when Christians come to God with just the words, “I’m sorry.” When we come to God, and ask for forgiveness, we need to humble ourselves. Only by humbling ourselves will we feel justified. Many times when Christians sin they feel so unworthy, much like agent Bad did in the parking lot.

I’ve known people who have felt like kneeling before God was even too high of a position to take, but would rather lie down on their faces before him when confessing. These people then start pouring their heart out to God.

Their prayers may go something like this….. “God, I don’t understand why I keep doing this. I try over and over again but I keep failing. I just feel horrible right now and so disconnected from you. I’m angry and mad at myself for doing this and I need for you to forgive me for this. I hate feeling so dirty inside. God please forgive me. I need you in my life; I don’t ever want to do this again. Have mercy on me God; I’m a sinner. Let me feel you again God. Please, forgive me. I really need you too.”

Feeling justified won’t happen by simply repeating the prayer I just presented. Instead, it is pouring out your heart to God until there is no more to pour out. This is what the Bible talks about when it says you need to humble yourself. Agent Bad walked away justified because he humbled himself, in which God exalted him, and made him feel great.

Elder Good, on the other hand, didn’t humble himself at all and when he was finished praying felt the same way as when he came in. In order to relate this story to Christian sexual addiction, I believe this is the way Christians feel after they sin.

Christians feel humiliated because of what they just did, but to feel justified they must humble themselves further. I’m sure that after looking at porn and masturbating most people don’t feel a burning desire to pray to God, but the cost of not making things right with God can have a much larger negative impact.

Here are some of the things that people can experience after looking at porn and masturbating:

1. Addiction Anger and grievances toward God
2. Separation from God Feeling blocked from God’s love working through you
3. Strongholds formed
4. Spiritual confusion
5. Emotional confusion
6. Disconnect from a spouse
7. Distorted understanding of love Long-lasting memories
8. Loneliness Temperamental and depressed
9. Loss of control
10. Lack of enjoyment or happiness
11. Lack of peace or contentment
12. Little to no communication with a spouse
13. Everything seems to turn into a temptation
14. Old lust memories start coming back
15. The mind wanders and fantasizes
16. Lack of motivation to do anything
17. Nothing seems important

A Better Way.

Please don’t sell yourself short. When God forgives you, he also wants you to feel forgiven. I know sometimes Christians feel like they need to punish themselves for their Christian sexual addiction.

This is a dangerous way to live because if you feel bad long enough you’ll probably have a need to feel better and there is a good chance that you will turn back to porn. If you let this self-punishment cycle continue it can lead to some major destruction in your life and will eventually start affecting the people around you.

What’s the alternative? Just humble yourself! Take advantage of the wonderful forgiveness and justification that God has to offer. God isn’t asking you to beat yourself up or condemn yourself for your Christian sexual addiction. When Jesus died on the cross he died for the sin of you looking at porn on the Internet and then masturbating. If you hold onto that sin then what you are saying is, I know God forgave me, but I’m not going to do what it takes to feel forgiven. I’m sure this makes God sad, since he already provided a way to take away not only your sins but all the guilt and shame as well for any Christian sexual addiction.

God is not asking you to give up your money, house or spending cash. All he is asking is that you humble your self. It’s not hard to do. Just give him your heart; it’s free anyways.

Again all I ask is let me bless you with my podcast, it would be an incredible incouragement to have you sign up. We are in this together.

God Bless, Deacon Pepper

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